Life around here lately seems to be focused on words. Which is fine, as I am a bit of a word nerd. We still have “seriously” featuring heavily in the rotation of daily ranting. But now, we have a new contender – “Actually Mummy…..”. I must hear that at least 50 times a day. Usually when I am being corrected by one of the four who believe quite firmly that they are indeed correct. The topic can range from anything to do with cake being good for you because is like fruit, right through to the ‘real’ meaning of words (like doppelganger!).
I find myself almost needing to reference my conversations – as in, no I am right because you actually cannot eat rainbows – surely science would stick with me on that one? Well I have three kids who believe quite firmly that you can eat a rainbow, because, of course, they have done it, and they had a banana afterwards. Right. So I am not sure how the said rainbow was eaten, a` la mode? Or just with a sandwich, as they all differ on their answer. Caitlyn tells me she had ice cream and a rainbow. And the rainbow smelt like bubblegum, strawberry and sunshine, all together and all at once. Cute. Emma on the other hand tells me that her rainbow was served with glitter, by a unicorn. Unicorns are totally cool – so I think I will go with her version. Plausible, somewhat. Brendan does not really have a story as he was side tracked by ice cream! He will just agree with which ever sister he does not want to offend at that given moment.
I find it astonishing that they have such vivid imaginations. They feed off of each other and play into the story. Suddenly, it is not just one who is having a nightmare or bad dream – they are all comparing theirs. “Actually Mummy…my dream was worser than Caitlyn’s as I had a creeper chasing me (Minecraft lingo). And so it goes. And goes.
I can actually see the bond between all of them – like a string holding them all together. Not just the triplets, but Hayden too. He is definitely fluent in the language of Moloney siblings. He understands everything they say and do, and knows all the names of their toys. They know all the names of his, and show great interest in everything Hayden does. They love his best friend as much as Hayden does (and thank goodness Master I has a sibling, so he ‘gets’ that they follow you everywhere!); and love it when he comes over to stay (think three shadows….)
They get up to mischief together, although, in all fairness, they don’t think their behaviour is mischievous!
They decided (as a collective) to decorate their cubby house. Granted, it is theirs. Clearly this is Hayden’s writing, but Emma, Caitlyn and Brendan all affirm that it wasn’t Hayden, it was them. Haha!!! They all obviously pitched in, as there is lots of faces, drawings and other pictures. I had to laugh. When I found out (when hanging washing on the line) I asked them all. The conversation went like this –
“Who did this?”
Hayden – “Actually Mum, we don’t know”
Caitlyn – “Actually Mum, it was me, and B and Emma, Hayden wasn’t here”
I don’t know whether to be worried that they are blatantly lying, or revel in the fact that they have protective arms that envelop them – just the four of them. So, I have shrugged off the incident. When explaining why it happened (and there was talk about “maybe we did it because it was pretty boring inside the cubby”) I figure they actually only did the inside, and the outside is ‘already painted pretty mummy’; I can see (if I was in fact 3) why I probably would have done the same.
And I want to be that mum. The one that does all the cool stuff, and has fun and whose kids just always have fun. In reality, I try to be a well rounded mum. Not always easy with Jason working away. But I try. Granted, I tend to start breathing fire (all dragon-esque) when I am really tired, or have so much work to get through, and probably stop a little of the fun. But I am really trying! Actually (haha) motherhood is difficult. I have written about my tiny little army and how they are dictators – but they are nothing compared to the harshness that is your own judgement and thought processes.
This is the page of a book that the kids are reading at the moment. It is so cute, and this page (that was opened today!!) is so incredibly apt for me right now! It is from “The Tiny Book of Tiny Stories” Bu Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Wirrow. It is gorgeous and full of one page stories and pictures that the kids are loving.
And it is just that – my kids love me undoubtedly, and really, there is no chartered course for this crazy gig of Motherhood. There are milestones, and things that ‘just happen’ – we get older (every day actually Mummy we are another day older), and we innately learn how to do somethings. But some days, I don’t know exactly what to do. I love them, I feed them, and I clothe them – but what do you do when your kid wants to stay up all night to watch the stars and read a book? I used to want to do that; and really, the only down side is he will be tired all day Sunday…so I let him! There is no rule book – and I know that staying up all night is not a huge decision, and it is just a lazy example. But unlike illness where Google is instantly promoted to Dr Google, and everyone has cancer, there is no book to look up and refer to – you have to wing it. And that really is the part where the nerd in my shudders. I don’t wing anything. I meticulously and nerdily plan every week for all our activities and events. And that is why some days, I find Motherhood so difficult! Because we are all different parents, and we all have different experiences to add to our decisions and choices. What I do know, is that I teach my children how to love and be loved, and some days we stay in our PJ’s all day; and we eat breakfast for dinner. I am learning that that is not a sign of defeat – it is a sign that some days, we all need to slow down. My kids are never going to be this age again. And I am going to miss it terribly when Hayden no longer wants to hold my hand. Or when the triplets run at me (and I mean run) and throw themselves at me (yep, all three, at once) when I pick them up from Kindy. They are THAT excited to see me. The teachers even love watching it ever day. I need to learn to be a more patient mother. Sometimes I am so busy, I forget that my kids don’t know the horrors of a to-do list or a working life. They don’t know because they are kids – and I want to keep it that way!
I don’t have an answer on how to do any of this – other than keep on keeping on. I email the kids (I have set up accounts for them all, we are all firstname.lastname@example.org) and tell them little things about their day every now and then. Figure I will hand the email account over to them when they are older. I reckon it would be amazing to see and have the insight of their mum (and dad) from one day. I am still completing project life and I am still trying to be as brutally honest as possible. We are not a rosy all perfect family. We are far from it, and that is what I love about it. It captures “us”. I have even done a mini book on a crappy day so that even that day is memorised for what it was. I am sure my kids will think I exaggerate when they are older and I am telling their kids or their partner about how they were when they were kids. But what I do know, is that I am doing my best. And I know that I am trying to be a strong mother, and one who also knows when enough is enough, and steps in. I am protective, but also aware that I can only protect them from so much, they have to be strong enough to cope as well. So, if anyone has any secrets on how to do this or tips – please send them my way!
So, I actually am going to miss the 100 times a day words, and the Muuuuummmmmmyyyyy’s, but some days it is so difficult to see the forest for the trees – seriously 😛