Last week I posted “Let Go” – which was as much about me as a person as it was about being a mother; and letting go of things that I am focusing on for no real reason. This post had such an overwhelming and humbling response! I had so many lovely comments from people all over the world. Obviously, I am not alone in my thoughts.
I am *trying* to make a conscious effort to ‘be’ in more photos, accept how I look, and work at being healthier with my kids as opposed to focusing on numbers. I am very much aware of the effect I could potentially have on my kids, and not just my girls, by shying away from the camera, and speaking negatively about myself. I can only reiterate, that whilst I will never be a super model, I will be the most beautiful women to my children for a very long time. And I really need to embrace this. What a wonderful feeling it is to have four kids who love me for what and who I am. They love me despite my tired ‘cranky’ moments, or the bags under my eyes. I am likened to Elsa and Anna from Frozen (which is a big compliment apparently, because not only am I royalty, I am a pretty one at that!) and a cross between Batman and SuperWoman. And I would not be alone in this. All mothers, aunts, big sisters and women would have the same adjectives surrounding their name from the world of little people.
The big undertone here is one of love. Kids love unconditionally. It is only our influence and impact that will change this – and often our unwitting one. We are not always aware of how much of our hearts and moods we wear on our sleeves. I want my kids to love and be loved, and to, more importantly, love themselves. I want them to be confident, but not arrogant, and kind, but not submissive. I want them to know that they are not the centre of the universe, but that they are incredibly important to so many people. I look at this list and think I should follow suit – we all should!
So yesterday, I looked at capturing my kids, exactly how they are *right now* because it won’t be long and they will be changing, adapting and growing even more on me!
7 years old/young. Oh my goodness kid, I never knew how much you could love someone until we had you. Having our first child was like having our hearts permanently on the outside of our bodies. And it still is. You are such an amazing little boy. You are growing so quickly, and learning so much. Your understanding, ability to infer and be both sarcastic and witty never cease to amaze me. Your kindness, patience and understanding of triplet siblings knows no bounds, and is something that no matter what, will always make you a very special boy, and the bestest big brother in the world.
Today was a ‘normal’ day for you. School. But even at school you find adventures and fun to have. You dream. You sing. You laugh. You love lego. You have endless questions and a thirst for knowledge. You read an entire novel in one night (last night it was 39 Floored Treehouse). You still let me hold your hand. You still let me kiss and cuddle you. I know it won’t last for ever, so I revel in every night that I get to sing your special lullaby to you, and tuck you in. I love you more than icecream little buddy.
4 years old/young. Holy moly B. You have no “off” switch. Ever! Unless you are asleep, you are never entirely still. You are so incredibly full of energy. You love running, jumping, hopping, skipping, dancing, singing, and then doing all of that all over again. You are hilarious and our little joker. Quite often we will hear Emma say “Beeeee, do something crazy” – to which you will pull a face, or do something to crack everyone up. You are full of giggles, laughter and sunshine. You are such a little dude!
Today was a normal day for you as well. Kindy. You love it, and love playing with other kids. You are particularly in love with your teacher, and still sad that Miss Cindy has left. It still surprises me that you quite often don’t play with your sisters at Kindy. You go off and do your own thing. I love that you have found a place to be yourself and by yourself with the support of your siblings.
One of the most important possessions to you is Doby. Hayden gave you one of his when you were a baby. Neither of you can sleep without Doby. It still is the single most beautiful and altruistic act I have ever seen in my kids. Hayden’s reasoning at the time (and remember he was 3 11/2) “I can’t sleep without my Doby, so either could Brendan, he can have one of mine (he had three)”.
4 years old/young. Ems is our crackpot. She is often living in another world, with random outbursts that relate to nothing that is being discussed. Tuesday it was about the internet being stupid because it was basically invisible so how could people know if they could have it or not or if it was in their house? And why wasn’t it in cars if cars had those maps that told you where to drive to (GPS)?! Hilarious! You are our rainbow kid. Colour is your big love, particularly orange, followed by the rainbow. Stripes and colour and a bed full of toys who are all so special to you that you cannot sleep without them. Some nights I wonder where *you* actually sleep!
You are always singing and dancing as well. You have such a special bond with Hayden. The two of you have always had a special bond. I am not sure why. You also love Minecraft – because Hayden did initially, but now you can play it and you love it!
You have hair all the way down to your bum, and you love your long hair. You can laugh and cry at the same time, and sometimes you are not sure which you should do. You love Kindy. You of the three, are the most focused. You love reading books, tomato sauce and bananas. You are a little monkey – some days I have to put the fruit bowl up really high so you don’t eat your fifth banana and score a tummy ache.
4 years old/young. You are our feisty little chicken. Fiercely independent. Strong willed. Stubborn. And you love pink, and princesses, and pretty dresses/shoes. You have strawberry blonde curly hair that does not ever look neat and tidy. It has a mind of its own! Fiery like you! You have a beanie baby that is named “Ali Moloney” (still cracks me up) who is a nurse and a teacher and a cook. Haha!
You love Frozen and Minnie Mouse. You try to decide who is the best – Anna or Elsa. You wish your hair was as long as Emma’s, but still curly and ‘your colour’. You are the little mother hen of my kids. Always clucking around and making sure everyone is ok. You have a beautiful nature – and you are so incredibly protective of your siblings – Hayden included.
It’s funny, because some days I catch myself thinking about ‘the talk’ we had from our Maternal and Foetal Medicine Specialist to reduce our pregnancy to twins. It would have been you that was selectively reduced. That blows me away. Life without you would not be the same, we would always feel like something was missing I am sure. You have the most spunk out of all three – you are witty, argumentative, and so incredibly loving. You also need the most ‘mummy cuddles and kisses’ and have such incredibly sad eyes when you are sick. You love cups of tea, (with honey and milk please) and ‘anything my mummy makes in the oven’. You are so vivacious, kind and bold. Nothing scares you, as long as you can see me, or feel safe, you are not ever scared!
So, there is my ‘day’ captured. Now, to get in the picture, and keep up the momentum of focusing on the right things!