Last year, Hayden was bullied at school. On and off, and often with no real reason why, and with varying levels of bullying antics. Hayden was understandably upset. Hayden had questions – “why do kids be this mean?”, “why do they think I am stupid/fat/ugly/waste of space/nerd/geek/dumb?”. Thing is, I don’t know. I don’t understand why kids are that mean. I don’t know what they get out of it.
That horrid feeling. Those two words. Yep, you are likely well versed in the signs and symptoms of mothers guilt. It is a condition commonly felt when you have so many things to do, and have not been able to sufficiently juggle everything to fit *everything* in.
It is a type of guilt that has varying levels. You can feel guilty for your inability to *do* something for your kids, like not being able to take them to the beach/park/play date. Sometimes you just can’t get there. That is generally ok. Then there is the guilt that hangs around like a bad smell, because you work or just can’t do something. You feel as though you are constantly not there enough, not doing enough, not being enough for them. Or that they don’t have the best of everything (like they care), but in all reality, you are. The irony here is that we are our own worst enemies and judge ourselves to all manner of harshness when we just don’t need to!
I am joining in on Kellie’s 15 for 2015 – 5 fave blog posts, 5 fave photos and 5 fave crafted items for 2014. I have really put a lot more time this year into blogging and have enjoyed it immensely – I am hoping to get a bit more of a schedule in place for 2015 to regularly blog and get my stories out there 🙂 I can dream right?! So, after going through blog posts – here are my favourite five from this year –
5. “Remember those bad days?” – We all have them – I just turned this one into a lovely keepsake haha – to remind me that no matter what, I always will have days where the milk gets spilled, my tea goes cold for the 20th time and all the other things in between.
The old saying is that a picture is worth a thousand words – and when I look in my photo program, I have a whole library of words that ‘go’ with the photos. It brings me back to why I take photos. With the integration of smart phones and cameras it means that, for me, I don’t drag out the ‘good’ camera as often and predominantly use my phone. This means that I find myself flooded with images, as opposed to some carefully crafted or opportune moments that were found when you had to worry about the quantity of film being used, or the wonder of seeing the film when you picked it up from developing. I kind of miss those days. Sometimes you take a hundred photos to get one ‘good’ shot. Then other days you find yourself not taking a single photo at all.
As this year has flown on by, we enter the final days before Christmas. The wonder, the joy, and the absolute childhood delight that is Santa, Christmas elves and twinkling lights. I see four faces captivated daily by the antics of our elf on a shelf elves – Charlie and Abby. I see four kids faces smile in pure joy looking at the Christmas tree and all the unique and ‘special’ decorations on the tree. Every year we all pick one decoration and buy it, then put in on the tree. We have some amazing decorations!