A few years ago, there was a great song by Frou Frou – Let Go. I am not great at determining song meanings, but I really think this song is about humanity, and what it is like to love, live and experience every day adventures. I love the line ‘ there is beauty in the breakdown’ – as it rings true with me constantly. I can honestly say, that as a mother of four, I loose my crap, and do ‘break down’. It might be over spilt milk, or another sibling fight. But in that moment, and for every moment, I am beautiful and amazing to my kids. The relevance here? Give me a few minutes of your time…
My four kids are going to have their perception of beauty and self image modelled by me (no pun intended!). I am pretty crap at accepting a compliment, have next to no fashion sense or any idea of style, and would list my favourite clothing as pyjamas. But to my four kids, I am a rock star. I am ‘so pretty mummy’, have the nicest shoes (pink chuck taylors), and have the bestest t-shirt (featuring wonder woman). None of these items of apparel will land me on the cover of a magazine; but for my kids, I am the prettiest lady in the world. And I need to learn to accept this. Because, I do not want my chickens thinking that there is anything wrong with them – we are all unique, we are all magical, and we are all beautiful. Easy to say, harder to prove!
I shy away from the camera, and if I do have to have a photo taken, I scrutinise my appearance. I don’t know why because I am yearning for the near impossible. I am never going to look like ‘that’. I am never going to have junk in my trunk because let’s face it, my trunk has been through two pregnancies – one a triplet pregnancy, and it has now in my 30’s seen better days. But my laugh lines, are that – my laughing, smiling and absolute moments of hysterical laughing. Moments etched in time, and etched in lines I guess is a good way to put it. My stretch marks on my tummy are my kids paintings. I tell them that when they were in my tummy, they got bored sometimes and this is what they did. I kinda like that they are there, they are a reminder that I can do and grow pretty good things. And that I am strong. But they are not that pretty!
Despite all my perceived faults, I have a husband who loves me, and children who know nothing different as I am their mum. Sure the scales vary, and I find it harder to coerce them the ‘right’ way sometimes when that baked delight is looking so incredibly good, but I have to learn to shift my focus before my kids learn bad habits and perceptions from me.